Buff Review Show- All Headache, No Fun with Hangover Part II
Forgive me for not wanting to donate too much of my early demise into RSI-related Arthritis to The Hangover Part II, but I wouldn’t spend five minutes elaborating on this film in the same way I wouldn’t spend five minutes sniffing industrial strength paint remover: my brain is likely to shrink in size by about a quarter and the consequential headache just isn’t worth it.
So The Hangover, as I refuse to give it any sort of numbering. This is still The Hangover, and whether it is part two, volume deux, section zwei or even sub-section dos, it is still the same as it’s predecessor in every way possible.
Actually, one difference to the previous one is the feel for the characters to, now obviously appealing to the “ironic” crowd, to yell out “Oh no, it’s happened again” every five minutes as if they’re being sponsored to do so. And between every tedious repetition of that woeful line comes the equally tedious and desperate repetition of “What the hell happened last night?”, to which by the end of the film I was practically yelling “EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU DOLT” to Bradley Cooper’s smug gurning face.
But let’s be real here. It’s a monkey instead of a tiger, it’s Thailand instead of Las Vegas, it’s Lady-Boy hookers as oppose to the regular kind and instead of free-loading champions of brains Alan, played by Zak Galifianakis, drugging them all with Ruffies like he did in the first film, this time it’s… oh wait it’s still him drugging them all, but this time it is muscle relaxers and ADHD meds so it’s totally different.
Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. Of course THAT was going to happen. How else do you think they were going to get them to do all the stupid stuff they did from the first film again? Actually for a short while I was almost convinced they had decided to do something differently, but no, why try for something different when we can retread the same square-inches of beaten track pretending everything is some great, fresh discovery like a dementia-suffering gold-fish in a jam jar.
I shan’t bother telling you what you already know about the film, if you were a fan of the first one you’ll have been waiting for this like sweaty fourteen year old girls waiting in Justin Bieber’s laundry hamper. When I reviewed Due Date last year, also starring Zak Galifianakis alongside Robert Downey Jnr, I mentioned that a lot of people unfairly dubbed that film “Hangover 1.5” ahead of this one. In all honesty I liked Due Date better than both the first Hangover and it’s sequel, which is closer to being Hangover 1.25 more than anything
The problem I find is that the character of Alan has now been seen in 3 films, as his presence in Due Date may as well have been a cameo as oppose to an entirely different entity. So now seeing him AGAIN a relatively short time after Due Date, the act seems stale. If they really want to do something different with the franchise, set it in a similar style Due Date, and try and get away from the pattern that has already been flogged like a dead horse in a Thai kitchen. Or failing that, just cut the series altogether, although with Box Office sales going through the roof there is little doubt in my mind that there will be a third film.
In fact I’ve come up with a hilarious little game you can play at home ahead of the next Hangover film. Using the following template, fill in the blanks and see if you can accurately guess what will occur in the 3rd film. Closest answer of anyone who even remembers this review once Hangover 3 comes out will get a box of chocolates and become President of the World. Here we go
“Well the boys are back, and this time, while on another Bachelor do in BLANK, the boys accidentally get drugged by Alan and wake up the next morning in BLANK, not aware of anything that had happened the night before. After yelling “Oh no, not again” for the umpteenth time, the boys empty their pockets and find a BLANK which is their only clue to help them in finding their lost BLANK. Along the way they meet a BLANK, several BLANK, and also run into BLANK Tyson, again.”
There we go. Copy it down form my blog, fill it in, and email it to Bradley Cooper because I’d hate for him to have to worry about plot ideas for the next part. In no particular order, my missing answers are a pig, a kayak, Bognor Regis, half a sandwich, white supremacists, Mike and the heir to the throne of Denmark.